January 2012
33 posts
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"I'll Tell You in Another Life, When We Are Both...
And suddenly the stars have aligned to give me the opportunity to push my career further. I’m going to make it in this world regardless of gods and fate. I will create my own future; Destiny is an obsolete concept. It’s my last year in America and I will make this a big year.
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People come and go in life. You have to keep going, stay in motion in order to stay sane. I’m 24...
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So, on top of a novel, or perhaps novella, I’ll probably do some more sculptures as well. It’s actually the funnest artform to me; moreso than painting. I just like to feel the materials on my hands, and I feel that I have more creative control. You’re literally manipulating materials to create figures.
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Coming to America and making money is the greatest robbery I’ve ever been a part of without actually meaning to be an active participant. Americans wonder why some foreigners don’t bother to follow the laws here or even try to learn the English language. It’s because some see America as a workplace; a country to collect dollars. American culture is fake. There’s no such...
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I feel like writing a novel as a form of therapy. It’ll be a strange novel with strange characters in strange situations. Would you read a strange novel?
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Nothing has changed in southern Philippines, except more devastation from natural disasters, which means more poverty. Journalists are still being assassinated and the politicians+armed forces+police are still as corrupt as ever. I guess I’m going to have to go ahead with my project when I fly yonder, despite the fact that it might take longer than the duration I planned on staying there. Is...
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Dear self,
Have you ever had a threesome with an incubus and a shemale?
Technically, it was a foursome since a shemale has both male and female genitals. It’s a sexual escapade best left for those who have A.D.D., because there were too many holes and phallic organs to maintain a unified focus.
P.S.
Self, why are you asking me these non-sensical questions? You should know the answer to...
I looked for the love from above, but all I received was rain. So I cupped water in one hand and clay in the other, and created Eve 2.0.
I etched a poem on her chest and so she spoke to me about wispy clouds and the eternal consciousness of the universe. Sometimes we walk along the shoreline where I spent many days as a child, asking her questions like, “If I made you, does that mean...
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One day, when I’m through doing the things that I do, I will lock myself up in a room and spend my remaining days creating animation films.
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“What brings you here?” asked the holy man.
“I’m here to fetch my spirit,” I replied.
And so I took my soul and stretched it out until it became a sail. I sailed the seas and oceans until I came full-circle, back to where I had started…a place I had never really left.
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I’m trying not to crash this early in the morning, but I’m crashing, crashing, crashing…kaboom. Why am I thinking so much? Is this how I kicked off the new year last January: lost and solemn? Fuck. I need to gain clarity. Maybe the drone lifestyle provided by a 9-5 I don’t particularly like will be beneficial to me. It has already taught me patience. I need to concentrate...
I feel trapped, as if the forces of the universe don’t want me to leave this city, this state, this country, this continent, this planet. I’m thankful for the opportunities I have been given, and there are a lot, but I wonder why it seems like there’s nothing but obstacles in front of me when it comes to travel. Whether it’s expenses or having the proper documents to leave,...
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And to this day, I still drink a 40 oz. Olde English straight out of the bottle.
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I’m seriously getting tired of the corporate struggle and thinking about money so much. I wasn’t like this before. I cared about helping others and not just making major money. It seems very middle-class of me to say that, as if I’m spoiled with money and I don’t know the value of money. I know the value of money and I understand that almost all people worship it because...
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I feel so detached and out of loop with the news business. Even the news that used to interest me, such as political corruption and terrorism cases, don’t spark my interest anymore. I’m beginning to wonder if I want to keep pursuing this elusive journalism career. I still want to be a photojournalist, but not as a shooter for a newspaper. I want to do features (photo essays) for...
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Oftentimes, my ‘carpe diem’ mentality conflicts with my responsibilities. I’ve quit a few 9-5 jobs because of that sort of thinking. I’m a person who doesn’t need to be reminded that we’ll all die one day. When I hear my heart pounding my chest while playing basketball, I think to myself, “One day, that heart will get tired of beating and I’m...
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Though I’m attracted to women who are successful and independent, I realized that it’s kind of annoying when we both can never find the time to even talk. It’s not that I want to have constant attention. I want both of us to give each other equal amount of attention. Their lifestyle reflects mine, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve buried myself under my work....
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Children of the 21st Century
We are the children of the 21st Century, worshipping the Big Blue Screen (God is composed of ones and zeros). What is our current civilization composed of? We are a kleptocracy copying and pasting ideas from long-gone inhabitants of this grand old Earth.
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Monkeys are cool—until they throw their feces at your face.
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If inserted within a context, my words would seem herculean, but it’s a skeleton that whistles when the wind blows. My words are tiny drops of blood randomly dispersed in a crime scene—detached from any living thing. My mouth spews empty vowels and flat-toned sentences that fail to reach even the second layer of your soul. Forgiveness is a two-person act, like the intimate exchange...
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“We’re all caught in the same maelstrom of patterns and it’s better to sympathize with one another than to compete.” “People believe writers like only dark places, that they indulge all vices, bloat the body with gluttony of the spirit. But these same writers are supposed to save enough of themselves to crawl out, to grab pen and paper, and to write sunbursts of hope...
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I feel like a flying lantern trapped between worlds, floating any which way the wind takes me.
intervital asked: while i agree that creating something is kind of selfish, i think it's more beneficial than just that, even if it's just for yourself. i've learned a lot more about myself, others, and the world in general through creation. and you connect with people so much better by being open and sharing your art. it's pretty vulnerable actually, even if it ultimately pleases you cuz you...
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I need to focus on my photography project(s). I haven’t been doing much writing either. I’m taking it easy on the filmmaking. I feel like I’ve experienced a good enough amount last year to carry me on to the next phase in my career. Basically, I need to get back into a solitary lifestyle and really reach into myself, or rather dive down deep enough to get lost in my own realm....
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There used to be a small farm near this river my friends and I used to swim in. I liked to imagine that it was my farm. Sometimes, I just want to drop everything and live a simple life in a farm. I would grow veggies, and maybe some weed, for me and any other friendlies who want some. No selling involved; Just share food and weed with good-intentioned people. I would live in that farm, work on an...
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Aimlessly wandering through Radioland, I heard ‘Just Once’ by James Ingram. That song is a favorite at karaoke bars in the Philippines, which is probably why it’s connected to memories of me on the floor, covered in my own vomit, clutching an empty bottle of Red Horse beer. That song is the kind of sappy soundtrack couples make love to after a fight. I wonder how many Filipino kids were conceived...
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“If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you might miss it.”
— Ferris Bueller
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It’s okay if you gotta go.
I understand.
While you’re gone, I’ll watch Chappelle Show
with a blunt in my hand.
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Santeria
KM: So, what do you believe in?
Me: I'm neutral when it comes to religion. I neither reject, nor subscribe to any particular belief system. I embrace all ideologies.
KM: Such as..
Me: The 3 Abrahamic religions, Hinduism, Daoism, tribal religions, Greek mythology, Buddhism, Voodoo, capitalism, Marxism, existentialism, atheism, Santeria...
KM: Haha, Santeria?
Me: I don't practice Santeria..
KM: I ain't go no crystal ball
Me: Well I had a million dollars but I...
KM: I'd spent it all.
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Best comment I’ve had in a while: “You show confidence. That’s sexy. Not a lot of guys can do that without looking arrogant.”
A friend of a friend of a friend at a party I had attended told me that. She was quite pretty. It was flattering. I don’t receive much praise for anything I do, or who I am, nowadays, so that felt pretty good.
I guess I’m confident...
December 2011
157 posts
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Photo, Photo, Photo
I’m trying to figure out how I can balance my three main areas of photography: art, photojournalism and commercial.
I. Commercial - It’s all about fun assignments and working with awesome people, especially local small businesses. I won’t lie and tell you that I don’t fantasize about shooting for Robb Report, GQ and Travel+Leisure. Of course I do! For me, commercial...
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“The debate about problem drinking and how to stop it nowadays centres mostly on the working-class young. But a chapter in a forthcoming book, “Intoxication and Society”, by Philip Withington, a Cambridge historian, argues that it was the educated elite who taught Britons how to drink to excess.”
-The Economist
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I woke up and immediately had the urge to listen to every song in every Eraserheads album.
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I wrote a confessional…then deleted it after the 18th paragraph. Some things are best to remain unsaid.
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A Temporary Phase with Permanent Consequences
Lately, two things have been constant in my life: sex and tattoos. Pleasure and pain. What does this say about me? That I’m a hedonistic masochist?
I love my tattoos though. I wear them with pride without flashing and bragging about them. They all mean something to me. The sex thing, on the other hand, is just me being a normal 24-year old. One day, I will settle down. So for now I’m...
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Looking at my bucket list, called ‘30 Under 30’, which are 30 things I want to do before I turn 30, I realized that there are only 3 things I can accomplish in the very near future: “Surf in Sayulita, Mexico”, “Ride a PT-17 Stearman” (a classic warplane) and “Drive Down Route 66” (Chicago to Los Angeles). I should probably rename the list to...
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”The world’s greatest shortage is not of oil, clean water or food, but of moral leadership. With a commitment to truth - scientific, ethical and personal - a society can overcome the many crises of poverty, disease, hunger and instability that confront us. Yet power abhors truth, and battles it relentlessly.”
-Jeffrey Sachs
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“Of the world’s 7 billion people, one in five does not have access to electricity. And nearly half of the people on Earth still cook on traditional stoves fueled by wood, peat, waste, or dung…”
-National Geographic
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I just bought a new turntable (very sleek and sexy). Time to buy more records: jazz, blues, soul and of course the mandatory hip hop. I’m missing a couple of Miles Davis albums in my collection though. Hunting time!
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“You can design your life; There’s a blueprint for it.”
— Pharrell
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Genesis
Dear Mr. James Ingram,
I’m sure I was conceived to one or two of your songs. I would like to thank you for helping bring me into the world.